Why I never posted when I said I would. …Probably TMI. Skip if you don’t want to read about my issues with contraception.

I’ll be honest, I keep meaning to add to my queue but I just can’t make it happen recently. First, my computer broke. Then my phone broke. Then the computer broke again. Then it didn’t recognise the battery. And then I’ve being dealing with a major pregnancy… sort of scare?

Adam & I have been insanely careful, but we’re both too fertile for modern medicine. A couple years ago I got pregnant while on the pill. I didn’t know it BECAUSE I WAS TAKING THE GODDAMN PILL & NEVER MISSED A SINGLE ONE, MIND YOU, so I kept taking them anyway & when I was supposed to get my period, I surprise miscarried instead. Lovely.

Flash forward to last year, when I learned I had developed an immunity to all birth control. After the problems above, I switched birth control pills until they all either made me insanely sick or I’m completely immune to them & it’s like I might as well not poison myself with hormone pills that don’t even work. So I quit taking them & we switched back to condoms (poor Adam, LOL).

Well you know that teeny tiny 3% chance you can get pregnant without the condom breaking? THAT. Or at least I think. So the past week & a half of my life has been going through every symptom of pregnancy you can imagine (& if you’ve never experienced that, it’s hell). So needless to say, I haven’t worked out. And I’ve been so nauseous I haven’t really eaten, so I always feel weak. And I’ve just been sitting here thinking, “I was such a lazy piece of shit leading up to this point that I only lost 1 stone & if I *am* pregnant now, I’m going to be well over 200 pounds by the end of this because I know a woman who’s literally half my size in height & weight who went from 98lbs to 201 when she had her kid & OH GOD I’M GOING TO BE A BLOATED BOUNCEHOUSE FULL OF CHILDREN.”

So I just feel like looking at beautiful people who aren’t stuffed with accidental condom babies & aren’t bloated all the time & would make me feel like a female wrestler if we were to meet in person is the exact opposite of what I want to be doing right now. I’ve taken tests, but they’ve all been inconclusive because it’s too early to tell. So keep your fingers crossed for me everything works out. I’ll update you guys when I can.

But to sum up: THAT’S why I haven’t added anything to the queue & I’m sorry, but for the love of god, you HAVE to understand.

Since so many people were fair-weather followers who took off when I had computer problems (Nice. Bitches.), I’m going to make sure I stop padding their followers list & unfollow & refollow everyone who’s currently following me. Sorry for any inconvenience. It’s so that I don’t skip your guys’ posts in favour of some asshole’s. :•\

FINALLY!

i am sooooooooooooooooo soooooooooooooooo sooooooooooooo sorry i’ve been gone for a few months.  my computer broke SO bad and i literally had to take it apart piece by piece by myself because it was so expensive to get it repaired it was either learn computer building on my phone -which refused to let me log in to tumblr in unison with my computer breaking- (!!!) or basically just buy a brand new computer and lose everything i had saved on here since it broke outta nowhere!  ugh.  so i really did teach myself how to fix a computer on my tiny phone screen.  so proud of myself.  now if only that kind of tenacity will start paying off weight loss wise.

but i’m back!  i’m finally back!  i’ll load the queue up tonight or tomorrow.  thanks to everyone who stuck it out and didn’t lose faith and unfollow me months ago.  i’ve really felt lost without you guys and i am SO glad i can finally get online again.  i missed the community and the support.  i’ve felt so alone without my tumblr girls!

how’s everyone been doing?  what did i miss?  has anyone reached their goals yet?  i’m closer to mine, but still a ways off.  as always.

Sorry, no stuff in the queue for a bit, I think. I’ll be in the corner sobbing & eating Midol like candy at least through Monday.